forever.wedding

Stray birds of summer come to my window to sing and fly away.

And yellow leaves of autumn, which have no songs, flutter and fall there with a sign.

One troupe of little vagrants of the world, leave your footprints in my words.

The world putsoff its make of vastness to its lover.

It becomes small as one song, as one kiss of the eternal.

It is the tears of the earth that keep her smiles in bloom.

The mighty desert is burning for the love of a blade of grass who shakes her head and laughs and flies away.

If you shed tears when you miss the sun, you also miss the stars.

The sands in your way beg for your song and your movement, dancing water. Will you carry the burden of their lameness?

Her wishful face haunts my dreams like the rain at night.

Once we dreamt that we were strangers.

We wake up to find that we were dear to each other.

When you were 13 years old, she suggested a haircut. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14 years old, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15 years old, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16 years old, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17 years old, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18 years old, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19 years old, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, and carried your bags. You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20 years old, she asked whether you were seeing anyone. You thanked her by saying “It’s none of your business.”

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future. You thanked her by saying “I don’t want to be like you.”

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation. You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she sent furniture to your first apartment. You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your finance and asked about plans for the future. You thanked her by glaring and growling “Mother, please!”

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby. You thanked her by telling her ”Things are different now.”

When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative’s birthday. You thanked her by saying you were “Really busy right now’.

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by talking about the burden parents become to the children.

And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

If your mom is still around, never forget to love her more than ever. And if she’s not, remember here unconditional love and pass it on. Always remember to love your mother, because you only have one mother in your lifetime!

When Ben delivered milk to my cousin’s home that morning, he wasn’t as happy as usual. The slight, middle-aged man seemed in no mood for talking.

It was late November 1962, and as a newcomer to Lawndale, California, I was delighted that milkmen still brought bottles of milk to doorsteps. In the weeks that my husband, kids and I had been staying with my cousin while house hunting, I had come to enjoy Ben’s sunny personality and comments.

Today, however, he was very unhappy as he placed the bottles on the doorstep. It took slow, careful questioning to extract the story from him. With some embarrassment, he told me two customers had left town without paying their bills, and he would have to cover the losses. One of the debtors owed only $10, but the other was $79 in arrears and had left no forwarding address.  Ben was upset for allowing this bill to grow so large.

She was a pretty woman, he said, with six children and another on the way. She was always saying, I’m going to pay you soon, when my husband gets a second job. I believed her. What a fool I was! I thought I was doing a good thing, but I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve been cheated!

All I could say was, I’m so sorry.

The next time I saw him, his anger seemed worse.

I repeated how sorry I was about his loss of income. But when Ben left, I found myself caught up in his problem and longed to help. Worried that this might turn a cheerful person into a bitter one, I thought of how to help him. Then, remembering that Christmas was coming, I thought of what my grandmother used to say: When someone has taken from you, give it to them, and then you can never be robbed.

The next time Ben delivered milk, I told him I had a way to make him feel better about the $79.

Nothing will do that, he said, but tell me anyway.

Give the woman the milk. Make it a Christmas present to the kids who needed it.

Are you kidding? he replied. I don’t even get my wife a Christmas gift that expensive.

The Bible says, I was a stranger and you took me in. You just took her in with all her little children.

Don’t you mean she took me in? The trouble with you is, it wasn’t your $79.

I let the subject drop, but I still believed in my suggestion.

We’d joke about it when he’d come. Have you given her the milk yet? I’d ask.

左鄰右舍都知道我有一個說一不二的女兒，我也挺滿意的。現今都是一個孩子，我們今後就指著她了。讓她永遠和父母一條心，就是自己最好的養老保險。

我忍不住打斷她說，你這不是控制一個人嗎？

她說，你說得對啊，不愧是作家，馬上抓到了要害。要說我這個控制，還和一般的層次不一樣。我做得不留痕蹟。控制最基本的要素，就是掌握信息。葉利欽憑什麽掌握著核按鈕？不就是他知道的信息比別人多嗎？對兒女，你知道了他的信息，你就掌握了他的思想。你想讓他和誰來往，不想讓他和誰來往，不就是手到擒來的事嗎？比如她常和哪些同學聯繫，我並不直接問她，那樣她就會反感。年輕人一逆反，完了，你讓他朝東他朝西，滿擰。我使的是陰柔功夫。我也不偷看她的日記，那多沒水平，一下子就被發現了。現在的孩子，狡猾著呢。我呀買了一架有重撥功能的電話機。她不是愛打電話嗎，等她打完了，我趁她不在啪啪一按，那個電話號碼就重新顯示郵來了。我用小本記下來，等到沒人的時候，再慢慢打過去，把對方的底細探來。這當然需要一點技巧，不過，難不倒我。

我點點頭，不是誇獎這等手段，是想起了她剛在偉達室對我的擺布。

她誤解成贊同，越發興致勃勃。

女兒慢慢長大了，上了大學，開始交男朋友。這可是一道緊要關口啊。我首先求一個門當戶對，若是找個下崗女士的兒子，我們以後指靠誰呢？所以，我特別注重調查和她交往的男孩子的身世。一發現貧寒子弟，就把事態消滅在萌芽狀態。

我說，這能辦得到嗎？戀愛的通常規律是—壓迫越重，反抗越凶。

她說，我不會用那種正面衝突的蠢辦法。我一不指責自已的女兒，那樣傷了自家人的和氣，二不和女兒的男友直接交涉，那樣往往火上澆油。我啊，繞開這些，迂回找到男方家長，向他們顯示我家優越的地位，當然這要做得很隨意，叫他們自慚形穢。述說女兒是個驕嬌小姐，請他們多多包涵，讓他們先為自己兒子以的“妻管炎”捏一把汗。最後，做一副可憐相，告知我和老伴渾身是病，一個女婿半個兒，後半輩子就指望他們的兒子了……她說到那裏，得意地笑了。

我按捺住自己的不平，問道，後來呢？

她說，後來，哈哈，就散夥了唄。這一招，百試百靈。我總結出了一個經驗，下層勞動人民，自尊心特別強，神經也就特別脆弱。你只要影射他們高攀，他們就受不了了。不用我急，他們就給自己的小子施加壓力，我就可以穩操勝券坐享其成了。

我說，你一天這般苦心琢磨，累不累啊？

她很實在地說，累啊！怎麽能不累啊？別的不說，單是偵察女兒是不是又戀愛了，就費了我不少的精力。後來，我發現了一個好辦法，說出來，你可不要見笑啊。女兒是個懶丫頭，平日換下的衣服都掖在洗衣機裏，湊夠了一鍋，才一齊洗。我就趁她走後，把她的內褲找出來，仔細聞一聞。她只要一進入談戀愛，褲子就有特殊的味道，可能是荷爾蒙吧，反正我能識別出來。她不動心的時候，是一種味道，動了真情，是另一種味道……那味一出現，我就開始行動了……近來她好像察覺了，叫我娘間碟，不理我了。你說我怎麽辦？

天啊！我大駭，一時間什麽話都對答不出。在我所見到的母親當中，她真是最不可思議的之一。

我連喝了兩杯水之後，才把自己的情緒穩定住。我對她講了很多的話，具體是些什麽，因為在激動中，已記得不很清楚了。那天，她走時說，謝謝你啦！我明白了，女兒不是私有財産，我侵犯了女兒的隱私權。我會改的，雖然這很難。

我送她下樓，傳達室的師傅說，親戚們好久沒有見，你們談挺長時間啊。

我歎口氣說，是啊。我很惦念她女兒啊。

分手時，娘問諜對我說，你要是有功夫，就把我對你說過的話，寫出來吧。因為我得罪了不少人，我也沒法一一道歉了。還有我的女兒，有的事，我也不好意思對她說。你寫成文章，我就在裏面向大家賠個不是了。

娘間諜走了。很快隱沒在大街的人流中，無法分辯。

    If you intend using humor in your talk to make people smile, you must know how to identify shared experiences and problems. Your humor must be relevant to the audience and should help to show them that you are one of them or that you understand their situation and are in sympathy with their point of view. Depending on whom you are addressing, the problems will be different. If you are talking to a group of managers, you may refer the disorganized methods of the secretaries; alternatively if you are addressing secretaries, you may want to comment on their disorganized bosses.

    If you are part of the group which you are addressing, you will be in a position to know the experiences and problems which are common to all of you and it’ll be appropriate for you to make a passing remark about the inedible canteen food or the chairman’s notorious bad taste in ties. With other audiences you mustn’t attempt to cut in with humor as they will resent an outsider making disparaging remarks about their canteen or their chairman. You will be on safer ground if you stick to scapegoats like the Post Office or the telephone system.

    If you feel awkward being humorous, you must practice so that it becomes more natural. Include a few casual and apparently off-the-cuff remarks which you can deliver in a relaxed and unforced manner. Often it’s the delivery which causes the audience to smile, so speak slowly and remember that a raised eyebrow or an unbelieving look may help to show that you are making a light hearted remark.

    Look for the humor. It often comes from the unexpected. A twist on a familiar quote “If at first you don’t succeed, give up” or a play on words or on a situation. Search for exaggeration and understatements. Look at your talk and pick out a few words or sentences which you can turn about and inject with humor.

我和她的相識,有點意思。我稱她“娘間諜”—是她自己告訴我這個綽號的。我從小就很驚歎間諜的手段和意志力。

那天上班時分，傳達室打來電話說，有一個女人，說是你的親戚，找上門來，你見不見？我說，是什麽親戚呢？師傅說，她支支吾吾地說不清楚，我們覺得很可疑。你直接問她吧，檢驗一下。要是假冒僞劣，我們就打發她走。

傳達說著把話筒遞給了那個女人。於是我聽到一個低低的氣聲，耳語一般地說，畢作家，我不是你親戚，可是我有重要的事情要對你說……啊，你怎麽不記得我了呢，真是貴人多忘事啊！表姑全家還讓我問你好呢，你走趕快跟傳達室的師傅說一下，讓我上樓吧，他們可真夠負責的了，不見鬼子不拉弦……師傅，您來聽本人說吧……

後半截的聲音明顯放大，看來是專門講給旁人聽的。於是我乖乖地對傳達室同志說，她是親戚，請讓她進來。謝謝啦！

幾分鍾後，她走進門來。個子不高，衣著普通，五官也是平淡而無奇的那種，沒有絲毫特色。叫人疑惑剛才那番精彩的表演，是否出自這張平凡的面龐。

她不客氣地坐下，喝茶。說，一個作家，又好找又不好找。說好找吧，是啊，報上有你的名字，實實在在的一個人，電腦這麽發達了，找個人，按說不難。可是具體打聽起來，報社啊編輯部啊，又都不肯告訴你，好像我是個壞人似的……

我說，真是抱歉。

她笑起來說，你道的什麽歉呢？又不是你讓他們不告訴我的。再說，這也難不住我，我在家裏專門搞偵破，我女兒送我一個外號，叫—“娘間諜”。

我目瞪口呆。半晌說，看來，你們家冷戰氣氛很濃的啊。

她收斂了笑容說，要不我還不找你來呢！你能不能幫幫我？

我說，到底出了什麽事？

她說，我就這麽一個女兒。我丈夫和我都是高工，就像優良品種的公雞母雞就生了一個雞蛋，你說，你能不精心孵化嗎？從小我就特在意女兒的一言一行。小孩子要是發燒，三等的父母是用體溫表，水銀柱竄得老高了，才知道大事不好。

二等的家長是用手摸，呦！這麽燙啊！方發覺孩子有病了。我是一等的母親，我只要用眼角這麽一掃，孩子眼珠似有水氣，顴骨尖上泛紅，鼻孔扇著，那孩子准是發燒了，我這眼啊，比什麽體溫表都靈。

女兒小的時候，特聽我的話。甭管她在外面玩得多開心，只要我在窗臺上這麽一喊，她騰騰地拔腳就往家跑。有一回，跑得太快，膝蓋上磕掉了那麽大一塊皮，血順褲腿流，腳腕子都染紅了。鄰居說，看把你家孩子急的，不過是吃個飯，又不是救火，慢點不行？我說，她幹別的摔了，我心疼，往家跑碰了，我不心疼。聽父母的話，就得從小訓練，就跟那半個月之內的小狗似的，你教出來了，它就一輩子聽你的。要是讓它自由慣了，大了就扳不過來了。

    As you step off Kowloon-Mongkok, you will be delighted to discover a Thai Food Station sign showing on the Metro Park Hotel’s board. Whales mooing over the loudspeakers candle-lit tables ,and colorful amoebic paintings instantly put you at ease. The waitstaff won’t wrestle you to ground in an attempt to attach a friendship ban, but they do have that serene demeanour common amongst hippies. Persuing the menu, you’ll find a variety of dishes well suited to the budget of a thrifty hippy. So for those of you whose wallets can’t take another battering, head to the Thai food Station. For RMB100, you can get a selection of popular Thai dishes, such as tom yam soup, Thai red curry and beef masaman. Unlike its competitors, Thai Food Station offers a large selection of small tapas-style dishes that sit around the RMB30 mark, like their Somtam apple(spicy apple salad)RMB38, a spicy seafood and meat glass noodle salad for RMB38 and Panadanus jelly with ice cream (RMB25). After having tasted these exotic wonders you will undoubtedly emerge with a large curly grin and, hopefully, a world lier stomach.

“Son,” ordered a father, “don’t swim in that canal.”

“Ok, Dad,” he answered. But he came home carrying a wet bathing suit that evening.

“Where have you been?” demanded the father.

“Swimming in the canal,” answered the boy. Didn’t I tell you not to swim there?” asked the father.

“Yes, Sir,” answered the boy.”

“Why did you?” he asked.

“Well, Dad,” he explained, “I had my bathing suit with me and I couldn’t resist the temptation.”

“Why did you take your bathing suit with you?” he questioned.

“So I’d be prepared to swim, in case I was tempted,” he replied.

To respect my work, my associates and myself. To be honest and fair with them as I expect them to be honest and fair with them as I expect them to be honest and fair with me. To be a man whose word carries weight. To be a booster, not a knocker; a pusher, not a kicker; a motor, not a clog.

To base my expectations of reward on a solid foundation of service rendered; to be willing to pay the price of success in honest effort. To look upon my work as opportunity, to be seized with joy and made the most of, and not as painful drudgery to be reluctantly endured.

To remember that success lies within myself; in my won brain, my own ambition, my own courage and determination. To expect difficulties and force my way through them, to turn hard experiences into capital for future struggles.

To interest my heart and soul in my work, and aspire to the highest efficiency in the achievement of results. To be patiently receptive of just criticism and profit from its teaching. To treat equals and superiors with respect, and subordinates with kindly encouragement.

To make a study of my business duties; to know my work from the ground up. To mix brains with my efforts and use system and method in all I undertake. To find time to do everything needful by never letting time find me or my subordinates doing nothing. To hoard days as miser does dollars, to make every hour bring me dividends in specific results accomplished. To steer clear of dissipation and guard my health of body and peace of mind as my most precious stock in trade.

Finally, to take a good grip on the joy of life; to fight against nothing so hard as my own weakness, and endeavor to grow in business capacity with the passage of every day of time.